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Working for the Man

9. Develop a work-related illness. It's important to get something that keeps you from doing anything in your current workplace. Otherwise they'll put you in some token position that will keep you stuck there and you'll be exhausted from faking it so much. And on top of it, they'll make a big deal about how benevolent they are and what a big favor they're doing you letting you stay on. The Fictional Disability works best if you have reliable disability insurance. If you don't have it, then stick with something that will slow you down considerably. Archie McPhee was selling fake casts in their last catalogue. You could also invest in a pair of secondhand crutches. I'm currently working on alien hand syndrome. Then I'll get disability insurance & will be such a hazard I'll have to stay at home. I'm going to have to fake some kind of traumatic head injury to pull it off, but it will be worth it.

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