The new Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue (perennially big on themes in sex clothes) features a makeshift "harem girl" getup. A purple and gold mess of chiffon and cheap lace with a little veil. There are also accessories to complement your ensemble, arm bands and belly button jewels. What John could resist? Problem is, you can't really appropriately wear hooker shoes with the Harem Girl outfit. You'd have to go barefoot or wear sandals or something. And everyone knows hookers wear high heels, right? Right.

For the fans of Forever Knight (the Canadian vampire detective series), Frederick's also offers a "vampire" costume. Kind of like an Apollonia outfit with a half-assed "cape." Not very inventive. Pedestrian Gothic. (Strangely enough, I actually saw a girl I know wearing a pretty close approximation of that outfit—sans cape—last night. I kept expecting her to bust into a chorus of "Sex Shooter." She didn't.)

< 1 2 3 4 5 6 >

The online Frederick's catalog doesn't have any of those weird costumes, though it's still teeming with plenty of slutty clothes and hooker shoes, plus a feathery affair I covet and some just plain perplexing items.