INCREDIBLE POLISH BONDER
by Nailene

This stuff is the shit. It's the miracle beauty product that really does what it says.

I've always been seduced by those beautiful shiny bottles of promise. I probably have 30 or 40 bottles of polish, but up until now I would rarely wear them, since I always made such a mess of it.

All you need is one thin coat (they don't even recommend two, bless thier hearts!), and your polish of choice will last and last. Based on my experience with nail polish (it's usually sloppy by the next day and embarassing after three), I would say it extends your color about four times. The nailpolish in that picture is a week old! A week old, for crying out loud! And I'm no sissy. I have farmgirl hands.

And it doesn't just work with their nail polish. It works with ANY nail polish, from Artmatic all the way up to the fancy Revlon stuff. I would assume it works with the ultra-fancy department store nail polish as well, but I'm not a sucker willing to plunk down $20 for some fucking nail polish, so I haven't tested this theory. If you are one of those suckers, all the more reason to buy Nailene's INCREDIBLE POLISH BONDER.

If you long for the glamour of nail polish but you're one of those fidgety types who picks at things, this is the product for you. You can get it in the section of the drug store that has the fake nails. It will be carded and hanging on a hook. Make sure you don't get rooked with the one that comes with nail polish. With that package, you get some mundane neutral color of regular polish and a microbottle of the good stuff.

This is especially valuable to nail polish-wearing men, whose hands are usually an eyesore. That means YOU, Brian.

At $3.99, it would be a rip-off if it didn't work, but as it does, it's a bargain! Hurrah! And right now, all the ones at Eckerds have $2-off coupons on them. So stock up, ladies and gents! Although his is a pocketable item, I wouldn't recommend heisting it for two reasons: 1) they usually put those magnetic stickers on the tiny, expensive items and 2) you really should reward Pacific World Corp. (the company who makes this miracle) for a job well done. They could be hawking it for $19.95 a bottle on late-night informercials, after all.

Hustle your butt down to the drug store RIGHT now and grab a bottle. You won't regret it.