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This was originally from a 1996 agony column, but it's a topic that continues to menance me, so I've expanded it a little... |
the horror. . . the horror. . . . [1st trimester] 1.1 There's something troubling me lately. It's the proliferation
of pregnant women in my workplace. In the last two months, there have
been two births. Lisa's all knocked up and looks like she's about to pop.
And while the effect of all these women waddling around looking like they're
about to tump over is hilarious, I don't like thinking about the biology
behind it. |
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If you think your email about how misguided or immature or selfish or wrong-minded or vapid or stupid or short-sighted I am is going to make me see the light, think again. Consider, perhaps, that your opinion might not be the only and best one out there. That maybe I've actually put a little thought into this. And that my choices don't diminish yours (and if they do, yikes for you). Have all the babies you want. Just leave me out of it. |
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| ©1996 - 2006 Disgruntled
Housewife and Nikol Lohr. All rights reserved. Disgruntled Housewife - PO Box 9052 - Austin, TX 78766-9052 |
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They've all got creepy little monsters growing inside them
like parasites. I don't want kids. Sometimes I like kids okay, sometimes
they're funny or smart, but I don't want one growing inside me like a
tape worm. They grow in there and press down all your organs and give
you incessant heartburn and make you have to pee all the time and make
your ankles swell so the only shoes you can wear are flip-flops. And then
when they're finished leeching off you, they slide out like greasy little
piglets 
