To anyone who grew up south of the Mason-Dixon line, this recipe will seem mundane. But to the uninitiated—those deprived of suicide sodas and Frito pies at the middle-school cafeteria or Roller Town—Frito pies are an extraordinary treat.

An authentic Frito pie MUST be served in the bag and eaten with a plastic fork (or better yet, spork). After your first pie, you may make it in a dish and eat it with regular flatware. But if you're a Frito Pie virgin, you gotta do it middle school cafeteria style your first time.

For one Frito pie:

Big Grab of Fritos (Dainty appetite? Use the snack-sized bag)
One cup of chili with beans, canned or homemade* (adjust accordingly for non-Big Grab)
grated Cheddar cheese
Plastic fork

Accouterments (your choice): sour cream, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, pico de gallo, cilantro

Snip across the side of the Fritos bag (an authentic Frito pie MUST be served in the bag and eaten with a plastic fork). Pour in the chili, top with cheese and anything else your heart desires. Then stick the fork into the bag, mix it up into a sloppy mess, and enjoy! More fun that a funnel cake at the flea market!

Frito pie is best served with Coke or beer. If the chili is especially hot, a cool glass of milk will help soothe your weary palate.

*A tasty compromise for homemade chili:

1 can chili without beans
1 can dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can whole tomatoes, drained and chopped coarsely

Add-ins: cumin, chili powder, chopped jalapeños

Mix up the whole mess and your favorite add-ins to taste. Heat it up on the stove or in the wave.